Buried in Blankets

On the edge of dreams

Curled in your arms, I am

Warm, I am too warm

Without you, with only the blankets

For comfort

Curled up pressing in.

I want hot chocolate. It is warm like the blankets.

I am curled

Atop the blankets

I miss you

And your warmth

I need not pull myself from within the depths of the blanket, out of the weighted blanket’s grasp

But I cannot move

I am curled

Atop the blankets

Buried in the blankets in my thoughts you are

Buried.

So far from me.

Six feet. Six

Feet under I am buried six feet apart we stand.

I bury into my blankets.

I do not move I cannot move hot chocolate requires that I move to turn on the electric kettle.

Even tea would be nice. Herbal

Caffeine would speed my beating

Overheating heart.

I miss you.

You do not know we are apart.

I’m scared.

If I sleep, will I dream?

I do not need sleep to imagine a future

Without me. You are already

Without me only you

Do not know it and I

Do not want it.

What I cannot imagine dream is you and i

Together

Forever. My weighted blanket holds you down

Holds your heart it is buried

In me and I am buried

In my blankets. In my thoughts.

This is not a spiral so much as a wave

After wave

After wave is there ever a

break? I fear

the calm in between the waves where it all feels good

And nice and

Forever

for that makes the waves scarier, as they each feel new.

I am scared.