Perchance to Dream

I wish this depression would lift 

I sift through thoughts that drift  

Trying to believe that breath is a gift 

Gripping the sheets  

This dark and silent realm  

Incubating self hatred  

I just want to melt into dreams 

But eyes wide  

High tide  

In my mind I slide 

While noisy inner monologue creeps 

These thoughts are not me 

I am not deep 

I am shallow burnt out and tired 

And I want sleep 

Perchance to dream  

What dreams come 

The rub 

Run 

Here comes the sun 

Daily rebuild and come undone 

My mask fits snug  

I hate my tongue  

The sound of my words 

Dripping the same shitty syllables  

How many ways to paint  

I'm miserable  

Across the negative space of my brain 

I keep rereading the same page 

Ruminate 

Room so gloomy  

Tomb with heart still booming 

Read Rumi  

Make room to create 

Walk the Tao 

I am down  

To wander 

What would Buddha do 

Present moment  

Back to my rising chest 

Release the need to ponder 

Not much chance 

Completely cut loose from purpose 

The smell of teen spirit 

Heaven scent  

Follow and reach Nirvana 

Roadhouse blues  

Riding shotgun 

Packing 

Stuff my baggage in the trunk 

Don’t you know there ain’t no devil 

That’s just god when he's drunk 

Adrenaline linger 

Penny for thought 

Copper clings touching taste bud 

Don’t know where this fear came from 

Are you really still awake bud 

No blossom has begun 

I miss my peers  

Taken from earths face so fucking young 

Fast living slowly dying 

Generation drowning 

Beautiful bodies on park benches lifeless 

Limbs dangling off vomit stained couches 

Loss of life  

Snuffed out light 

Hollow nights and squatters rights 

Madness climbs the rising tides 

Still riding through the bowels 

Best minds destroyed 

Hearing the howl 

Like prey exposed 

a predator’s naked lunch 

Bones crunch  

Feeling the fang that burrows  

Pinch the flesh 

Under bloodshot skies  

Where crimson spreads 

Below the horizon of half-mast lids 

My pupils set  

Stoned immaculate 

I wish to dissipate 

Dissociate from this disease I taste 

I isolate  

I sow hate  

It gets so late 

Or is it early 

Sleepless start to brand new day 

Eat my own narratives  

And regurgitate 

I am not a poet 

I am just lost 

Hoping my words help me navigate  

But my inkwell is tapped  

I lack direction 

I don’t have answers 

Only more questions 

Living breath to breath 

In through mouth 

Out my nose 

Stop clinging  

To what I think I know 

Deep inhale  

Hold 

Let go 

Pocket stone 

Lost in thought 

Between the ax 

And chopping block 

The water feels nice 

Close my tired eyes 

In contemplation of life 

Splash of dream  

Watercolor scream 

Count to three and dive 

Where sirens sing  

Of worlds serene  

Sleep 

Perchance to dream