Poem for Apollo

every second that i’m wasting, waiting

on my wallow

i’m regressing, second-guessing

no longer an olive tree

just a willow

all weepy and hollow

when did i slip through your grasp, Apollo

my skin is cracked and broken, my crocodile lover

for now that i’ve noticed you

i don’t think there

is any chance that i could ever recover

i am eternally in an evermore

of ignorant darkness and gloom

the thoughts in my head are only growing pains

mushrooming until they’ve lost

all of the fire in their bloom

sometimes i crave the taste of you

in the bitterness brought by my morning coffee i’m

cleaning out my ears daily

terrified for you to whisper ever so softly

“don’t fret about acid raindrops

you’ll waste half the year

for i am not worth the sea

a gallon of water

or even

a single tear”

i no longer think i can breathe

when those lyrics sing to collapse my lungs

like arrows weaved with the pinings of us because in

my eyes you are everything plus the sun

so i’ll wait for the rainfall

even when they call for clear skies

for I’d rather wash away with this downpour

then be forced to face one of your goodbyes

to myself i’ll tell the lie

that this will not kill me

nor will i cry

from

the spiteful sting

of the wire

slicing through dermal cells

string me up

and skin the hide

of a liar

scratch out any

sound i have

How much

Longer

Do

I

Have

Alive

i don’t know how to conceptualize

that my attempt of

resuscitating a doe

not only suffocated

every part of me

but was a

complete

waste of

my time

how much time

before you leave my carcass

to the sisters

the ones that share

a single eye

where i’ll ask them if

my pain will ever cease

my grey will ever subside

will they just tell me to resign

in the pits of a fiery hell

watch as my soul joins the tide

leave this cruel and wicked body to

rot and wither behind

what if even then

amongst the burnt breeze

i’ll cross and wonder till

on my lips which it dies

what i did to deserve this Apollo,

i’ll never get by